Quotes in Love: Funny

Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 7, 2020

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”― Marilyn Monroe

"My dad believed in me, even when I didn't. He always knew I could do this."

Taylor Swift

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Talking about how annoying the kids in the grade below you are, but convincing yourself you never acted like that last year.

Talking about how annoying the kids in the grade below you are, but convincing yourself you never acted like that last year.

Monday, January 16, 2017

The dirty looks, the jealous stares. The funny thing is you think I care.

The dirty looks, the jealous stares. The funny thing is you think I care.

It's a good thing you can't get drunk on music, otherwise I'd be totally wasted by now.

It's a good thing you can't get drunk on music, otherwise I'd be totally wasted by now.

I hate it when a shower only has two options: 3rd degree burns or skinny dipping in Antarctica.

I hate it when a shower only has two options: 3rd degree burns or skinny dipping in Antarctica.

Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.

Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.

My internet wasn't working the other day. I think my neighbors forgot to pay their bill. How irresponsible of them.

My internet wasn't working the other day. I think my neighbors forgot to pay their bill. How irresponsible of them.

Saturday, January 14, 2017

When consumed for it's antioxidant properties, dark chocolate has less fat than broccoli.

When consumed for it's antioxidant properties, dark chocolate has less fat than broccoli.

Friday, January 13, 2017

Welcome to Hollister, would you like earplugs, a gas-mask, or a flashlight?

Welcome to Hollister, would you like earplugs, a gas-mask, or a flashlight?

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.

Unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade's going to suck.

Unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade's going to suck.

To err is human, to arr is pirate.

To err is human, to arr is pirate.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?

I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?

I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.

I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Ever look at your ex and thought 'Was I drunk during our whole relationship?'

Ever look at your ex and thought 'Was I drunk during our whole relationship?'

Saturday, January 7, 2017

That awkward moment when someone asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.

That awkward moment when someone asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.

Friday, January 6, 2017

If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.

If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.

Quotes in Love